Some feelings are like old familiar friends

Some feelings are like old familiar friends. Depression's like that for me. When I'm not in it, I don't remember it I remember it's bad I remember the darkness, but it's.. Different to feel it again. It's the different between remembering what a room looks like And actually walking through the door. Being inside it again, feeling it. When the episode starts, it can be slow at first. An intrusive thought, "I don't wanna be here", But then it's gone. You bat it away like a fly or a bad smell. When it hits you fully though, When you're really in it, it's everything. It's who you are, you're nothing else. On the outside, you look the same, smiling and pretending is so much work, But inside, it's a different story. You start to hate yourself You're so alone, so unbelievably alone, And you can be with someone you love, But you're not really with them.